Like the title says I have done a lot of learning and growing lately. And no that was not a fat joke lol. Anyhoo, my ex randomly followed through with seeing the kids on the 24th last month and insisted on coming back for another visit yesterday on the 7th. Come to find out he has been making a lot of changes in his life that are most likely influencing his choice to see the kids after 6 years. He is getting married, for the 4th time, to a lady that has a 4 year old. He actually has a job so he is paying child support and I gave him another bill for daycare and he didn't make a fuss at all which is weird. He also got the kids a ton of stuff for Easter and isn't complaining about all the gas money to come down here. So, I dunno what's up but I am learning how to have more faith in my Heavenly Father that this will all be ok and work out for the best interest of me and the kids because we are striving to do what is right. I was doing really good in that area of trusting in my Heavenly Father and then He stepped it up a notch so I wouldn't get too complacent lol. I know that all the trials we go through are for our benefit if we learn what He is trying to teach us. I have the faith that if I continue to do all I can to live as He would have me live, that I will be blessed with an AMAZING eternal companion that will be the good loving and righteous father that the kids have always wanted.
I know that Satan is trying with all his might to lead me astray once again but I also know that Heavenly Father LOVES ME with all His might and He is soooo much more powerful than Satan! He has shown His love for me over and over again as He has used those in tune with the Spirit, to help bring me back to the straight and narrow path. If He didn't care, He would have given up on me long ago. He loves me, and He loves my ex husband too. That part has been really difficult for me to realize and accept. How could He love the good and the bad? But then I realized that His love is like the love I have for my sweet daughter Hannah. She makes some really horrible choices and while I don't love her choices, I still love her and desire all that is good for her. Heavenly Father feels the same about my ex. He doesn't condone the bad choices that he has made and continues to make, but He still loves him despite all of that junk. I can pray for my ex that he will start making good choices again without having to love him as a husband again. He had that chance already and trod it in the mud and does not have to be allowed that privilege ever again.
I also know that I am strong enough to get the kids and I through this trial with hope and happiness no matter what happens. I can never get prideful or arrogant with my strength but I can rest securely in the knowledge that Heavenly Father is powerful enough for all of us and I merely have to trust in Him no matter what comes our way!
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